Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
A Goyishe Caucasoid
Looks at Hanukkah
[Editor's Note: Poor RageBoy®. He tried repeatedly to post this to Chief Blogging Officer yesterday, but all his prodigious efforts were in vain (thus the first sentence is off by 12 hours). So he decided to try it here instead to see if Blogger is just totally hosed, or if he somehow managed to fuck up the other site. Thanks for your continued understanding and support.]

Hanukkah began at sundown today. I live in Boulder, Colorado, where the Christmas lights have been up for weeks now, but there's not much sign of dreidels or menorahs. I have a Jewish friend visiting who noted this absence last night on the Boulder Mall, five pedestrians-only blocks of shops and (increasingly tacky) tourist traps. Lots of "Save Tibet" bumper stickers adorning late-model Audis and Beamers, though. With virtually no Blacks or Latinos in evidence, Boulder is one place you can be assured of having a -- very -- White Christmas.

OK, so I'm a tad cynical about Boulder. But it's also that I've been looking more deeply into the whole notion of "race" lately. And finding that it's often not much more than a notion. Why, for instance, do I have to check a box on my driver's license application indicating that I'm "Caucasian"? Last time I checked, the Caucasus Mountains, from whence the adjective derives, were somewhere in Russia or thereabouts. Where's my atlas? Where's my dictionary? Ah, here's one...

Cau | ca | sian (ko ka'zhên) adj.
  1. of the Caucasus, its people, or their culture
  2. Caucasoid
  3. designating or of the two independent families of languages spoken in the area of the Caucasus: North Caucasian includes Circassian, and South Caucasian includes Georgian
also Cau | casic (-kas'ik) n.
  1. a native of the Caucasus
  2. Caucasoid
  3. the Caucasian languages; Circassian, Georgian, etc.

from: Caucasian
source: Webster's NewWorld Dictionary, 1988
via: HighBeam Research

So far as I remember (which means I could be wrong), I've never been to the Caucasus, nor do I speak any of the above languages. Yet I am purportedly "Caucasoid." Go figure. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Boulder isn't the only place Hanukkah isn't -- or hasn't been -- much in evidence. Something about the Spanish Inquisition, it seems...
The Jewish community of Spain held a public celebration of Hanukkah Dec. 20, 1998, for the first time in more than five centuries.

Members of the small community lit candles at the same location in Girona, Spain, where their ancestors sought protection in 1391 from anti-Semitic violence that was prevalent at the time. Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492.

from: Spanish Jews hold first Hanukkah in five centuries by Matt Kantz
source: National Catholic Reporter, 8 January 1999
via: HighBeam Research
Copyright © 1999 National Catholic Reporter

My friend is sitting here as I type this. She's telling me this is not really a holiday for talking about religious persecution and suchlike unhappiness. "If you went to Temple, you would know," she tells me. "You would feel something about this." I am appropriately covered in shame and guilt. I tear my hair and rend my garment. Why, even George W. Bush has a better sense of the spirit of Hanukkah.

"Jewish tradition teaches that the Maccabees found only one small bottle of oil to be used for temple rituals, but that oil lasted eight days and nights. The miracle of this enduring light, remembered through the lighting of the Menorah, continues to symbolize the triumph of faith over tyranny."

So... to end this on a more upbeat note, let's hear from far-famed wedding singer Adam Sandler. However, since I've tried to post this about 30 times now and Blogger won't play, you'll just have to go here and read the lyrics to The Hanukkah Song for yourself.


7:12 AM | link |



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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.


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