Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Thursday, February 07, 2008
The Onion launches new "stealth comedy" site
Progressive Grocer
In an exclusive interview with reliable sources at The Onion, EGR has learned that the popular humor site and well known college-crowd advertising leader has decided to branch out in cyberspace.

"Sure we have a killer brand," said a mid-level marketing executive who declined to be identified by name. "But that's just the problem. People come to The Onion expecting to be amused. They know going in that it's going to be total bullshit. However, with a name like Progressive Grocer, nobody's on their guard. We can blow their minds before they see it coming."

Asked for an example, our informant provided several clips from a recent story in PG, purportedly about grocery shopping. "It's kinda subtle at fist," he said, "but by the end of the piece, see if you're not rolling on the floor."

FEBRUARY 04, 2008 -- WESTPORT, Conn. -- For the folks who craft the myths and messages of many a brand -- the professional marketers -- grocery shopping can sometimes be significantly better than a chore, according to an online survey of marketers...

The survey, polling more than 450 mostly senior level professionals across many industries, including retailers, found that almost half (46.5 percent) of marketers enjoy grocery shopping at least sometimes. Almost 36 percent enjoy it plain and simple, while 16.6 percent just don't enjoy it, period.

"Notice that that's straight Onion reporting style," he said, "Deadpan. Very straight. But of course it's not The Onion. So we have what you might call a greenfield comedy opportunity here." A graf or two later, the article continues...
Almost half of marketing professionals shop two grocery stores weekly for stocking up, while 21.5 percent hit three stores in a typical week. Of those that frequent more than one store, about 40 percent said they "don't care" that they have to make multiple trips to stock up, but 32 percent said they "hate it."
"It's the little things, the adroitly nuanced touches, that make great comedy writing," our source noted. "Like that '21.5 percent' and quoting 'don't care' and 'hate it.' These are classic comedy moves, part of the tacit syntax of American humor since Twain and H.L. Mencken."
Why do marketing pros choose the stores they do? Most of all, for location and convenience, said about 84 percent.
By this point, only die-hard Huckabee supporters are able to keep a straight face.
The quality of the fresh produce and meat followed at a distance, 53.2 and 34.6 percent respectively. Good prices, specialty items, and prepared foods finished off the top five reasons.
Respectively! OMG. LOL. We have to applaud the brilliance of The Onion's bold strategy. Progressive Grocer rises at times to the level of true performance art. Whether Nielsen Business Media will sue over the unauthorized use of their name in the footer of PG's pages remains to be seen. If Nielsen "gets it," they'll leave well enough alone -- and be grateful for the extra traffic the Progressive Grocer spoof is bound to generate. Only time will tell.

1:31 AM | link |

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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.

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The Bombast Transcripts

Gonzo Marketing

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