Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Sunday, August 15, 2004
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Well, I seem to have accomplished zip today. But I did find a site where I could test my self-esteem. Evidently, I didn't do too good. But with questions like this, what could I expect?
27. Ugh, you get a huge zit on picture day. You:
  • Fake illness and stay home
  • Get my parents to take me to the best dermatologist in town � ASAP!
  • Try to cover it up, then grin and bear it
  • Do nothing. I get zits all the time
Turns out the whole thing is created by some zit cream outfit. "Feeling good about yourself has a lot to do with your appearance. When you have zits, you don't like the way you look. You don't like the way others see you..." Uh-huh. I wonder if they've got a Prozac cream you can rub on your ass? Feel all fucking wonderful. Provoke instant estrus in superhot babes. So I guess I would have to say that scientific rigor was something of a problem with this particular testing instrument. Also, maybe this shit works for... uh... unsightly facial blemishes (did I get that right?), but christ on a crutch! look what it does to your fucking eyes!

Yeah, well, anyway, whatever. Here's what I got...

Does Your Self-Esteem Need a Makeover?

chris, your self-esteem could use A Little Boost

Whatever. OK, so maybe you're not a total wastoid, but you might have a touch of slacker in you. While marching to the beat of your own drummer is great, being apathetic isn't going to get you anywhere.

Maybe you don't worry about consequences or maybe you just don't care. Either way, showing passion for your interests and taking care of yourself are two ways you can feel happier every day! When you find something you can put your energy toward � besides sleeping or being negative � you'll find that life is that much more interesting, and you will be, too! So take a more active interest in school, a hobby, a job, or some other activity that inspires you, and you'll see your self-esteem soar.

So go ahead and give your self-esteem a boost. Clearer skin could be just the lift you need to have unblemished confidence. Click here to see how you can give your complexion a boost.

Yeah, go ahead and click there, where it will tell you: "During the first few weeks of treatment, itching, dryness, redness, burning or peeling may occur." What it doesn't tell you is that if you use this stuff for two months you have a 45% chance of turning into a NEGRO! And what's that gonna do for your self-esteem, huh? How's that gonna change "the way others see you"?

Self-esteem. How to pretend you're someone else when you basically hate who you are.

Self-esteem. Don't leave home without it.

12:58 AM | link |

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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

Chris Locke's photos More of Chris Locke's photos

Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.

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The Bombast Transcripts

Gonzo Marketing

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