Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
Another cup? Why not!

Google Groups subscribe to Entropy Gradient Reversals
browse archives at groups.google.com


via PayPal...


Kat Herding

don williams
jp rangaswami
dan gillmor
kevin marks
ann craig
frank paynter
mary wehmeier
donna wentworth
gary turner
halley suitt
jeneane sessum
blog sisters
denise howell
doc searls
david weinberger
brian millar
steve larsen
elizabeth lane lawley
michael "OC" clarke
george partington
e v h e a d
dave winer
eric norlin
tom matrullo
sweet fancy moses
julian bond
steve maclaughlin
the obvious?
gayle noelle
kate cohen
wood s lot
talking moose
oliver willis
dean landsman
creepy steve
bob adams
hernani dimantas
martin jensen
living code
walter thornton
phil wolff
steve rhodes
bob adams
gaspar torriero
paul vincent
sharon o'neill
sheila perkins
pluto krozabeeep
movable type
keith pelczarski
keith perkins
howard greenstein
greg carter
aron nopanen
bret fausett
m. melting object
sylvain carle
garett laugavitz
Monday, October 11, 2004
corporate dementia
ping hits the bong
Normally, we would never run a corporate press release on the Entropy Gradient Reversals weblog. Especially not one as self serving as this. Especially unedited, with no accompanying analysis. But we're making an exception in this case. It will be interesting to see if the company can make good on its announced plans -- to say nothing of what it would do for our longevity to stick around and find out. Now if we could just figure out who the hell Eugene Roberts is.

<!-- RB, we got a "Eugene Roberts" on the payroll? -->
<!-- Yeah, he's my dealer. What about him? He get busted again? -->


October 11, 2004

Ping Identity Pre-Announces Hostile Takeover of Microsoft in 2050

Company Lays Out Comprehensive Four-step Plan

Denver, CO, October 11, 2004 -- Ping Identity Corporation (www.pingidentity.com) today pre-announced a comprehensive four-step plan for a hostile takeover of Microsoft in the year 2050. The pre-announcement of this plan constitutes a key strategic initiative in Ping's roadmap.

The plan, as laid bare by Ping's CEO, Andre Durand, is as follows:

  1. Hit a Yearly Revenue of 100 million USD.
  2. Grow that to a Yearly Revenue of 1 billion USD.
  3. Grow that to a Yearly Revenue of 100 Billion USD (and go public somewhere in there).
  4. Assume that Microsoft's star has faded some, and launch takeover efforts.

The pure brilliance of the plan was lauded by Eugene Roberts, analyst with Entropy Gradient Reversals Group: "Ping has clearly taken a step to leap ahead of nearly all of its competition with this step. I mean, Microsoft is the largest company on the planet -- pre-announcing a hostile takeover in 2050 means that Ping will, most likely, be one of the largest companies on the planet."

Once the acquisition has been completed, Ping stated that they plan to release another version of their commercial federation server, PingFederate.

Andre Durand, CEO of Ping Identity, addressed the announcement thus: "After many months of strategic thumb-twiddling, it became overwhelmingly obvious that the synergies of this hostile takeover would out-weigh any downside. Having acquired the desktop, browser, small business, email, search engine, weblog, digital rights management, enterprise server, media player, and development environment foothold, we're quite sure that Ping will be able to leverage those properties in our federated identity strategy. Truly, this roadmap represents a milestone for Ping Identity Corporation."

About Ping Identity Corporation
Ping Identity Corporation (www.pingidentity.com) was founded by Andre Durand after his friend Craig taunted him with pictures from the Caribbean whilst he sat stuck in snowy Denver. Ping has since grown to encompass truly important corporate things like a board of directors, funding, stock, process, an outlook exchange server, and monthly reports. Most of Ping's employees dream of untold wealth and applaud this release. Those that don't are being dealt with accordingly.

Press Contact:
Eric Norlin

3:15 PM | link |

get your badge here.

"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

Chris Locke's photos More of Chris Locke's photos

Until a minute ago, I had no photos. I still have no photos to speak of. I don't even have a camera. But all these people were linking to "my photos." It was embarassing. It's still embarassing. But I'm used to that.

support free journalism
get this code

Technorati Search
this blog
all blogs

what I'm listening to...
billy idol - greatest hits

egr on topica
on yahoo groups
(way)back issues
egr home
terms of service

technorati cosmos

It is too late.



The Bombast Transcripts

Gonzo Marketing

The Cluetrain Manifesto

trust the man with the star

...the ventriloquial voice is both an attempt to imagine and pit the the speech of the body against the speech of culture, and an attempt to control that illegitimate speech, to draw it into discourse...

Sein und Zeitgeist

Samuel Pepys

All Products
Popular Music
Classical Music
Toys & Games
Baby! Baby!
Computer Games
Tools & Hardware
Outdoor "Living"
Kitchen Stuff
Camera & Photo
Wireless Phones
Emotional Outlet
Search by keywords:
In Association with Amazon.com

more / archives

live dangerously. subscribe to EGR

at a major industry conference,
chris locke once again captures the real story.

Powered by Blogger