The last time I posted something with a title like this, a whole raft of people started blogs. It was on Nov 07, 2001 02:40 PST, to be precise. That's what the datestamp says. Early days, even though this list is now ten years old. Yeah, there's a list too. Remember those? Before blogs? And there are still about 4,000 people on it. Used to be 5,000. Maybe it was something I said. Heh.

OK, well I don't have the Next Big Thing, like blogging, to turn you on to, but I do have some ideas that might prove mutually beneficial. Or fun. Or something.

In it's long history (I don't know about you, but for me it's been L-O-N-G), EGR has made a habit of... let's just say toying with the web. Just to see what could be done with a little imagination, minimal effort, and not too much concern about results. One such Action involved damn near bringing down sixdegrees.com -- an early (if misguided) shot at social networking -- by encouraging EGR's far-famed Valued Readers (that's you) to link RageBoy® as friend, business associate, significant other, insignificant other, sister, brother, mom... you get the idea. Inside of a week, Mr. Boy had approximately a billion people within his six-degree network. The CFO of the company called me up -- RageBoy was napping, as I recall -- and said: "Who are you and why are you doing this to us?" The poor man seemed unduly distraught.

Another one was when me and some other guys put together a website -- which later turned into a book -- that brought down the entire U.S. economy. Well... it played a role. How big is anybody's guess. It sure blew a hole in the old "Internet Bubble"! We didn't really mean to do that, you understand. We were just, you know, boys being boys.

Yeah well anyhow. Here's the thing. I posted a screed yesterday or thereabouts on Amazon, called...

So you'd like to... protect yourself
from the Mystic Bourgeoisie
click to go see

Some of the more astute among you will already have guessed that that's related to my other site -- Mystic Bourgeoisie. Damn straight.

And now here's where you come in. Following are the Action Items you've heard so much about. Everyone always talks about the Action Items, but no one ever does anything about them. Here's your chance to reverse this pernicious trend!

1. Go to that Amazon page by clicking right here -- see how easy I'm making this for you? Then, where it says "Was this guide helpful to you?" click the button that says .

   Currently, the page reports...

   6 of 6 people found this guide helpful. Read 32 times.

   The idea is to get both those tallies up!

   Of course, you may instead, if you feel so inclined, or are just mean spirited by nature, click the button that says . But if you do that, you really should read the whole thing first. Don't you think? And that's probably more than you have time for. Am I right? Of course I'm right. Think: your time is valuable. So fuck it, just click . Good. Now let's move on.

2. Actually, you may not want to move on. In which case, fine, you're done. And thanks for playing.

   Alright, now those of you with a bit more zest, a bit more joie de vivre, a bit more perseverance listen up. You can create your own "So You Want To..." page. I hadn't done it till that one you just looked at, and it's easy. It's even sorta fun. And think of the millions of people who will see Your Very Own Page -- on Amazon, already! Wow, huh? Everything you need to know is right here in the instructions.

   Or, you can slap together a listmania list. Here's one that some of you (633 of you, to be exact) looked at in a previous Action. Note that the page says:

   3 of 4 people found this list helpful. Read 633 times.

   Not bad. But surely we can do better on the finding helpful front! At any rate, here are the listmania instructions.

3. very important: After you have completed Action #2, above, email me the URL of your page(s) using this mailto link (or manually put "I have completed the necessary Actions, Sir!" in the subject line).

   I will post these on the EGR blog (i.e., here; the one you are presently reading) along with your name, rank and serial number, plus as much other revealing personal information as you would care to provide. Or as little -- go ahead, be that way.

4. optional - for VIPs only: If you happen to know Jeff Bezos, like personally, please point him to this page where I am begging & pleading for some much needed WORK, without which I am about to become HOMELESS. (I wish I were kidding). And my cat will die! Yes, the selfsame cat I once, in similar circumstances, threatened to sacrifice if things didn't pick up...

1. I suppose the rest of you peons can look too, as now the jig is up; if you've read this far, you know my game anyway. But you can still...

pretty please?

Hmmm... Now that I've stayed up slaving over the HTML all night once again, I'm not so sure it's such a hot idea to post this. For one thing, I wasn't planning on using the bad language this time around. Plus, I mean, some things should remain private. Shouldn't they?

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<!-- Jesus, RB! How'd you get out of the leg irons? -->

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12. There are no secrets. Just fuhgeddaboudit.

<!--I never said fuhgeddaboudit.-->

<!-- Whatever. -->

<!-- Get out! Go! -->

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<!-- I dunno. It's awfully... incriminating. Or something. Embarrassing, really. -->

<!-- Well, I think you should post it. Just be sure to take these comments out first. -->

<!-- Of course. What do you take me for? I wasn't born yesterday, you know. -->

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<!-- Well, on the one hand... but on the other hand... Ah, what the hell. I guess I'll post it. Just have to add one more thing first. -->

<!-- Oh sure. That'll make em think we're winning alright. "96 used & new available from $0.50"-->

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