Gonzo Marketing:Winning Through Worst Practices The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy
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Sunday, January 06, 2008
voodoo economics
welcome to the jungle
wind in my heart
wind in my heart
dust in my head
dust in my head

talking heads / listening wind / remain in light

He'd been playing. With colors and letters and layouts, with fonts. Arranging things on the page, the screen, in the back of his mind. He'd worked in brain research as a kid, found a job in a university lab when he was 18 and doing lots of acid. The back of his mind, he knew, was called the optic radiations, the area where incoming light was neurochemically translated into visions. He sees me, she said. If she only knew.

He'd been playing, forgetting all that, when he saw the headline -- Study: Monkeys 'Pay' for Sex by Grooming -- and was mildly depressed by it. We are blind, following the blind. It was just a headline. To read the whole story, he'd have had to click on it. Who cares? Do something else. We don't know what we're doing. No one does. But the posturing and pretense are brilliant, blinding.

The next morning it's still working on him. He goes back, finds the link. Finds that there is now something called biological market theory. Well of course there is. He knew it would have to be something like that. He had worked with Rhesus Macaques in the brain lab, seen them in zoos, in videos. Not like the real thing, in the wild. Back when there was a wild. But he didn't believe the monkeys were swapping or trading or paying. This was yet more ideological projection. It was everywhere now, masquerading as Science, kids. Posing as a kind of salvation from what we most fear: that no one knows what the fuck is going on out here. Out here on the planet, as he used to say, and he had said it fairly often. Almost from the beginning, it had seemed obvious to him how exposed we are, how fragile, how confused by it.

But hey, biological markets, there ya go. Commodity fetishism among the primates. Gorillas in the NIST. Not affection, not intimacy or attachment. Supply and demand. Exchange value. A specter is haunting Afghanistan. You have nothing to lose but your lice! "[yada yada] Hammerstein said in an interview, likening the [grooming] effort to a 'fee' that the male pays." Und so weiter: "The interesting result of Dr. Gumert's research on macaque mating is that the mating market seems to have an influence on the amount of this fee."

Yeah, that must be it. The baboons have read Hayek and Maslow, Atlas Shrugged. They know precisely what they want, how to get their needs met, how much it's worth. Not a penny more. Which, saved, is no doubt a penny earned. Maybe they read Poor Richard, too. But no, of course not, how unScientific. These behaviors are simply the result of natural selection, of evolutionary psychology's the-rich-get-richer end-run around the nasty implications of the inheritance of acquired characteristics. Lamarck having been, after all, so compromised by all that Soviet interest. And such a good fit with Dawkins' offhand gedanken experiment, which is to say, with the now new Science of Memetics. Though this is hardly new data. Monkey see, monkey do. We've known it all along. But an informal talk at Burning Man, or even TED, is something to think about. And don't we, bottom line, need more of that?

Econometricians on DNA. Just say no.

And from there -- don't ask how, but directly -- he got to a 2006 Frost & Sullivan report (EUR€ 4,109.00) called U.S. Chemical Biological and Nuclear Detection Markets. Oh yeah, baby. Now you're making me hot! But he continued reading. A section on "Market Drivers" (there it was again) promised in-depth coverage on how...

  1. Threat of Terrorist Attack Has Encouraged Sales in this Market
  2. Government Initiatives and Funding Have Helped Boost Up Sales
  3. Technological Innovation Helps in Increasing the Market Growth Potential
  4. Increased Awareness Amongst People is Expected to Encourage Growth in the Market
And he wondered. Would people willing to pay damn near 9,000 bucks for a report like this maybe have some influence on Media and Policy and Science channels to, you know, get the word out? That is to say, to

...and thus, just possibly, to

Anything was possible now, he thought. Now that Science and the Market were so alive to each other's needs. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Maybe I'll even let you fuck me.

wind in my heart
wind in my heart
drive them away
drive them away
Mojique buys equipment in the marketplace.
Mojique plants devices in the free trade zone...

talking heads / listening wind / remain in light / 1980

2:28 PM | link |

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"RageBoy: Giving being fucking nuts a good name since 1985."
~D. Weinberger
28 October 2004

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